Five-time Paralympic gold medalist, Strictly nominee, TV presenter and disability activist, Ellie Simmonds has never let her dwarfism define her.
But behind that confident, successful facade, Ellie always had questions about her very early life, being placed in foster care right after birth before being adopted.
“My life has been great and I have a loving family who taught me never to let my dwarfism hold me back,” she says.
“But the beginning of my life was a different story. Although I always knew I was adopted, I knew very little about it and until now I never wanted to ask why.
“I was put straight into a foster family when I was ten days old and my biological mother last saw me when I was two weeks old. I didn’t know anything about what she went through.’
Paralympic gold medalist, Strictly nominee, TV presenter and disability activist Ellie Simonds, 28, was adopted when she was two weeks old. Now she’s delving deep into the past to track down her birth parents in a gripping new documentary
Ellie, the youngest of five children raised by adoptive parents Val and Steve in Walsall, West Midlands, was born with achondroplasia, the most common form of dwarfism.
She enjoyed pony rides and ballet dancing, but by the age of five she had found swimming and three years later she was racing at the same pace as her able-bodied peers.
She was just 13 when she became a national hero after winning two gold medals for Britain at the 2008 Paralympics in Beijing. She retired from the sport in 2020 and at that point felt the urge to go back to her roots.
Her journey, recounted in new ITV documentary Ellie Simmonds: Finding My Secret Family, is at times searing and painful as Ellie explores the connection between disability and adoption.
“I had achieved everything I wanted,” she says. “And without the pressure of being an athlete, I’ve had the time and space to find my birth parents.”
“All my life I have had so many questions and have often wondered if my birth mother looks like me.”
It sounds like my mom is scared of dwarfism. If I was average height, wouldn’t I have been adopted?
“I didn’t want to give it up too late and I’m starting a new chapter in my life.” “I’m starting to think about settling down,” reveals Ellie, whose partner Matt Dean, who also has dwarfism, is a childhood friend whose parents introduced her to swimming as a toddler.
“It’s the perfect time to find out who I am and where I started.”
As she deals with systemic bias and lack of awareness towards disabled children, she hears shocking revelations. But she refuses to judge her biological mother, who already had a daughter without dwarfism.
“When I was born, despite the medical staff’s reassurances that I was normal, she was convinced there was a problem,” says Ellie, 28, who traced her official adoption files and photos that have been classified for 27 years were held.
“A few days later, the hospital confirmed I had achondroplasia and my mother told the midwife she felt like she couldn’t bond with me.
“After telling me that living with a foster parent for a short time would be best for me, she applied to put me up for adoption just two days later.
“Two days isn’t a long time to make such a monumental decision.” But she was a single parent, so you have to try to put yourself in her shoes.
“It sounds like she was scared not only of me, but of living with dwarfism.” If I were of average height like my older biological sister, wouldn’t I have been adopted? Says Ellie.
Ellie has often spoken about her parents Val and Steve as her biggest supporters, but never before revealed how the couple, who have four other children, adopted her as a baby (pictured at the 2012 Olympics).
Ellie presented her medals at London 2012, where she won four – two golds in the 400m freestyle S6 and 200m individual medley SM6, one silver and one bronze
Ellie Simmonds, who starred as a baby with her four siblings, was adopted by a caring foster couple
Ellie reads the medical staff’s records at the time of her birth and discovers that her mother, who had separated from her father before finding out she was pregnant, felt guilty about her daughter’s disability and wished she had one performed an abortion that her baby had died.
“It’s very difficult, isn’t it? You would hope that whether your child is different or not, you would stick with it because there would still be that love.
“I’m just small.” It’s never touched me emotionally before, it’s never made me feel like I’ve been rejected and thought about why my birth parents didn’t want me?’
Ellie reads the fact sheet she gave her birth mother at the time. It describes that people with achondroplasia “tend to be muscular and acrobatic, which may be why they are traditionally involved in circuses” and that they “cope with this problem of being stared at by other children and being laughed at” and, incredibly, that some are “evil” and “stupid”.
Ellie has previously spoken about her happy childhood with her adoptive parents. She did not say when she found out she was adopted
It was a blessing for Ellie to learn that her birth parents were both alive and living in the UK (Ellie pictured as a baby).
“Quite literally, that we’re stupid.” And evil,” says Ellie. “Can you imagine reading this and thinking, ‘This is my child?’ But I don’t want to be angry – without this journey I wouldn’t be who I am today and that brings pain.
“When my birth mother was given these papers, since there was no Google, she could only rely on them.” “This documentary is so important in emphasizing the importance of education and awareness.”
I was so nervous before we met, but we talked for five hours and cried with laughter
It was a blessing for Ellie to find out that her biological parents were both local and living in the UK, but before she decided to contact them she spent time with families who had adopted disabled children and got to know people , who felt they could not raise a disabled child and heard stories of the pioneering work being done by social service teams across the UK.
An estimated 40 per cent of children in childcare in England and Wales have a disability – the average is 8 per cent for the rest of the population.
“It’s so sad, but it’s hard having a child with a disability because the support and care can cost more,” says Ellie. “Plus, there’s the fear of the unknown.”
“But actually it’s so rewarding. A child is a child no matter what it looks like and all the child wants is a family who can give them love.
Ellie finally met her birth mother this year – she said she was “so nervous” before meeting her, but they chatted for hours
“I have four siblings, all of whom were adopted. “My parents are my biggest supporters, but they thought that one day I might want to look for my birth family, so they kept whatever they had at the time of my adoption for when I was ready.”
After Ellie discovers in the documentary that her foster parents have sadly passed away but have been celebrating their success from afar, she is spurred on to find her birth mother.
With the help of social services and adoption agencies, mother and daughter initially agree to write to each other. “I was choking,” reveals Ellie. “It really hit me and I couldn’t have made it without the support of everyone around me.”
The letter, which Ellie receives from her birth mother, explains how she and Ellie’s birth father split before she realized she was pregnant, how she “struggled with her mental health” and how it was “a very sad and traumatic time in my life”. .
Critically, she said to Ellie: “I suffered from feelings of guilt and self-loathing”, but she was happy, “your parents and siblings gave you such a loving environment”.
Ellie as a seven year old. She fell in love with swimming at the age of five and three years later she was able to compete with able-bodied peers
Earlier this year, Ellie finally met her birth mother. “I was so nervous before we met, but we talked for over five hours and howled with laughter because we have the same sense of humor.”
“I kept looking at her and I was like, ‘Wow! That’s my mom!” And yes, I felt like her face was just like mine.
“What touched me deeply was that she thinks of me every day.” And that really got to me because she’s always seen me as her daughter.
“When I find out who I am, see the mother who gave birth to me, and get answers to the questions I’ve carried with me for years, I feel whole.”
Were there allegations? ‘NO. Everyone in this situation makes whatever decision they feel is best at the time. And she told me how grateful she was to my parents.
“She knew I was her daughter the first time I was on TV because I still have the first name she gave me and because I live there.” So she’s always supported me but let me going on with my life until I contacted her.
“I think she regrets it, but she’s so happy to see the woman I am today.” “I love my family and they’ve just grown a little bit.”
Ellie would love to start a family of her own one day, but isn’t worried about having a child with a disability.
“There is a chance that they have dwarfism, but whatever the child looks like, whether they are of average height or whatever disability, I would love them.”
- Ellie Simmonds: Finding My Secret Family, Thursday 9pm, ITV1 and ITVX.