Ok, I take it all back. After the King's cancer diagnosis last week, I naively hoped that such a serious health crisis might bring Prince Harry to his senses, or at least bring him to his senses.
I thought it might make him realize how important family is; Perhaps look at the pressure the king has faced in recent years. Maybe I feel a twinge of pity for the old man.
But after the Duke and Duchess's latest move – renaming their Archewell website to Sussex.com, complete with coat of arms – I'm giving up. I'm afraid they can no longer be saved.
No wonder Prince William refused to see his brother during his flying visit to Britain last week. No wonder he only spent about half an hour with King Charles.
SARAH VINE: After the Duke and Duchess's latest move – renaming their Archewell website to Sussex.com – I give up. I'm afraid they can no longer be saved
They must have known this was planned. They must have known that this was Harry's next step in his journey to have his cake and eat it too.
Because it seems to me that this is not only shameless name-calling and an attempt to commercialize the title bestowed by the late Queen after Meghan married into the royal family, but also goes against her expressed wishes.
When the Duke and Duchess made the sad decision to turn their backs on royal life in 2020, they agreed that they would not use their titles for financial or personal gain.
In fact, they had to freeze their website, sussexroyal.com, for this very reason.
And yet here they are, clearly signaling their commitment to the institution of monarchy in order to make themselves and their organization known on the global stage. Let us not forget, an institution that they both thoroughly trashed, denigrated and dragged into the mud; an institution they seem to despise (consider their spat with prominent Republicans in Jamaica last month), an institution they claim to want nothing to do with – and yet one they can't seem to exploit enough.
I mean, Harry has always been an entitled little brat, but this really takes the cake.
Once again I was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt as he raced to the UK to visit his poor father. But now I can't help but agree with those who said it seemed like it was just a publicity stunt, a convenient way for him to remind the world that he's a member of the British royal family ahead of this new rebranding.
Honestly, can the boy sink any lower?
The homepage of the Duke and Duchess of Sussex uses their coat of arms and titles
SARAH VINE: Sussex is specifically not her family name. This is Mountbatten-Windsor, according to Archie's birth certificate
Of course his “people” fought back. A source close to the couple says: “Prince Harry and Meghan are the Duke and Duchess of Sussex.” That is a fact. It is her last name and family name.' Which, like so much of what comes out of their camp, is blatant nonsense.
Sussex is specifically not her family name. This is Mountbatten-Windsor, according to Archie's birth certificate. And in any case, Sussex isn't a name: it's a royal title bestowed on them by the late Queen. (Among other things, Archie himself has a courtesy title – Dumbarton – which his parents apparently don't want to use in case he gets called “stupid” at school.)
I mean, Harry has always been an entitled little brat, but this really takes the cake
If they really wanted to leave their miserable lives as royals behind them, if they really wanted to put their so-called “trauma” behind them and start anew, they would just call themselves “Mr and Mrs Windsor-Mountbatten” and be done with it. But of course they won't do that because that would affect their currency as kings. Hence the name of the new website.
This source could only be correct in their claim that Sussex was their surname if they had decided to change their surname from Windsor-Mountbatten to Sussex via deed poll. Which I think would be theoretically possible. But also, by their standards, unbelievable, astonishing, almost unbelievably blatant.
It could also get them into trouble: there is an argument that misusing Sussex as a royal title could potentially be a breach of the Companies Act.
What's also interesting is that the coat of arms the couple chose for the website is not Harry's, but Meghan's, which was given to her by the late Queen.
Since she was part of the royal family for about five minutes and claims to have been so thoroughly miserable, one has to wonder why she would want to cling to such an obvious reminder of her hardships.
In any case, it is outdated: it still shows the crown of the sovereign's grandson rather than his son, since Charles is now king.
But I don't think issues of heraldic authenticity are of great importance to Harry and Meghan. They don't seem to care that the British royal family is a beloved institution, an important part of our national culture; For them it's just a cash cow.
And the truth is that they need this brand for the simple reason that they have nothing else. Sure, Prince Harry's book “Spare” may have been a bestseller, as the website claims – but that was only because it trashed the royals.
Anything the couple tries to do regardless of their royal status fails, as the lukewarm response to the duchess' podcasts, her dreary children's book – and the fact that Spotify left her out of their £18 million deal – prove .
What did a Spotify exec call her? “Grifters.” Normally, these corporate people don't break cover like that unless things are really bad.
The terrible truth that the Duke and Duchess now face is that their main currency – their glittering royal status – is an ever-dwindling commodity. And they have unwisely squandered it through their persistent and vicious attacks on the very institution that gives them any kind of cachet.
Without them, let's face it, Prince Harry is just a bald, not-particularly-bright ex-soldier with father issues; Meghan is just a moderately pretty, decidedly mediocre ex-actress, also with daddy issues.
No wonder they are desperate to maintain this connection.
READ MORE: TOM BOWER: The Sussexes' new website is a sign there's so much at stake for Meghan and Harry. The cupboard is empty and the Americans don't care much about them anymore
After all, it's not like they caused much of a stir across the pond, despite all the celebrities at their wedding and the interview with Queen Oprah at the start.
Her Hollywood contacts seem to have melted away like ice in the California sun. They didn't even make it to Sunday night's Super Bowl, where every power player in the world was on display.
The reality is that this latest move smacks of absolute desperation. Harry and Meghan have had every opportunity to build a real identity for themselves outside of the royal sphere. But that would have required hard work and dedication – and earning the respect of others rather than demanding it.
Instead, they chose the easy path, not caring who they hurt or what damage they caused along the way.
In doing so, they made the last years of the Queen's life miserable and have since inflicted untold psychological suffering on all other family members. Of course, they claim to be strong and compassionate advocates for mental well-being.
I am sure that if the late Queen Elizabeth II had suspected that they would pull such a trick, she would have revoked their Sussex titles and taken away their right to call themselves HRH. No matter how much it would have hurt her, she was never afraid to do the right thing. And if there was one thing she took very seriously, it was the reputation of the institution she had dedicated her entire life to protecting.
This is the last thing the king needs while he is being treated for cancer. But stripping Harry and Meghan of their titles is the only way to put an end to their nonsense.
And what does he have to lose anyway?
A toxic son who seems to care so little that he rarely seems to voice public objection to being branded a racist? Come on – no one needs that in their life.