Sometimes it's easy to make a breakthrough. Sometimes Lopez can make you believe that life should be a hooded parka with a mile of fur trim or a huge house with your nickname covered in fake glamour. But if “This Is Me… Now” is anything to go by, it’s a mansion for one. She always just wanted to give us what she wanted for herself, but never achieved it convincingly: comfort.
Lopez wants, needs, longs, longs, desires, seeks, longs, wishes, dreams, hopes, believes, longs, aches, frantically. All of this can be seen in the harsh violence of her dance – nothing comes easy to her, nothing flows. There are many breakouts and breaks. (Here she even retains the sound of the dancer's rustling fabric.) She's been there for 30 years: mere entertainment may not be enough. Lopez always seemed eager to prove himself, rarely to enjoy, enjoy or bask in it. On the 23-year-old remix of her hit “I'm Real,” Lopez coos that second word, transforming it from a statement of fact into a question of existential doubt.
“This Is Me…Now” could easily have been framed as a mere valentine to her now-husband Ben Affleck; The album makes room for one: “Dear Ben, Pt. II.” Instead, Affleck is seen barking under layers of makeup as a cable news troll. Why not have him – or another star – right next to you in a good romantic drama, instead of Lopez curled up on a giant couch here and uttering Barbra Streisand's lines in “The Way We Were”? Streisand's heartbreaking earnestness could be Lopez's. She shares the artistic empowerment that Streisand embodies, but chooses to treat that strength like karaoke.
As a steward of her own image, Lopez may not believe she ever deserves relief, stability, happiness, a bath. She's just a nerd with a “restless heart,” as she puts it here. She knows she has to make an effort. The most fascinating aspect of these new Affleck Dunkin' commercials – in fact, one of the most fascinating aspects – is that the Boston guy he plays finds himself auditioning for them and does his endearingly awkward best to get one to leave a good musical impression. This guy knows what Dr. Joe and the Celebrity Zodiac don't know. Value and worthiness could be Lopez's love language.
The sad news is that nothing in This Is Me…Now is as funny – or funny – as these commercials. This project seems to have brought Lopez closer to neither serenity nor lightness. It is an occasion for even more effort. Again, she has put herself and a group of women to work in a literal love factory, and the conditions are dangerous. No matter how powerful and playful Lopez appears on the live stage – in Las Vegas or in the concert scenes of her romantic comedy “Marry Me” from two years ago or during her 2020 Super Bowl halftime show with Shakira – she often seems insecure in the films, torn about how big or small, calm or radiant he should be. She seems stressed, perhaps even neurotic. (She also put her fictional self on a psychiatrist's couch.) With a live performer, the desire is insatiable. You're paying for Category 5 force of nature. But an actor needs at least a few believable scenes of rest, and he rarely finds reliable peace on screen.