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The draft begins on Thursday. This means that mock draft time is running out. Since everyone and their uncle’s postman’s cousin have a mock draft, we’ll continue to publish one.
I don’t like mock drafts. Some say they are a vehicle to shape conversations. You are actually a crutch. There has to be a better way to talk about the draft than to say, “Let’s pretend we know what’s going to happen and then we’ll talk about it.”
It gets even more bizarre when it comes to predicting trades. The possible permutations extend to numbers that the human mind cannot comprehend.
But here we are. Our only mock draft of the year. I don’t care if any of the picks are right. I don’t care if you call it the “worst mock draft ever”. (One or more of my earlier mock designs will happily lose this crown.)
We used to do umpteen versions of mock drafts. That was before I developed a thorough and complete hatred for her. In recent years, we’ve transitioned to a one-shot mock design, with no regard for accuracy and no pride in authorship. Especially since I have now exported the job to an experienced scout whose credentials would not be questioned if his name were mentioned.
I considered tinkering with his selection. But then I realized that I just don’t care. If any of these tips are correct, the anonymous, unbound, skinless Scout will get the credit in-game. Anything wrong, I’ll gladly take the blame.
Nothing works here. Literally.
1. Jaguars: Travon Walker, defensive end, Georgia.
They thought of taking a tackle. The current thinking is that they will stick with a pass rusher.
2. Lions: Aidan Hutchinson, defensive end, Michigan.
He fills a need and his connection to Michigan is great for business. When he’s there, it’s child’s play.
3. Texans: Evan Neal, Tackle, Alabama.
A team that has many needs could go in many different directions here.
4th Jets: Ahmad “Sauce” Gardner, cornerback, Cincinnati.
The jets move from Revis Island to Sauce City.
5. Giants: Ikem Ekwonu, tackle, NC State.
The offensive line is and was a mess. Ekwonu starts cleaning up.
6th Panthers: Charles Cross, tackle, Mississippi State.
They need a quarterback, but ultimately they might not like him enough to make him a sixth pick.
7. Giants: Drake London, Receiver, USC.
Personally, I would go with Jameson Williams here, but I’m putting my faith in the person who created this draft.
8. Falcons: Kyle Hamilton, Security, Notre Dame.
A potential generational talent becomes the anchor of a team hoping to become a stalwart again.
9. Seahawks: Derek Stingley, Jr., cornerback, LSU.
You could trade down or grab a guy that could become one of the cornerstones of Legion of Boom 2.0.
10. Jets: Kavon Thibodeaux, Edge-Rusher, Oregon.
All the people talking about Thibodeaux slipping out of the top 10 might be hoping he does so they can call him up.
11. Commander-in-Chief: Garrett Wilson, Bankruptcy Trustee, State of Ohio.
A new Buckeye receiver could replace a current Buckeye receiver that they might not want to give big bucks to.
12. Vikings: Jermaine Johnson II, Edge Rusher, Florida State.
Za’Darius Smith is a short-term move; They need pieces for their 3-4 defense.
13. Texans: Chris Olave, wide receiver Ohio State.
They no longer have a franchise quarterback. A great receiver could make its non-franchise player look a lot better.
14. Ravens: Trevor Penning, Tackle, Northern Iowa.
With Orlando Brown gone and Ronnie Stanley still a question mark, the Ravens need blockers.
15. Eagles: Jameson Williams, Receiver, Alabama.
Don’t be surprised if he goes higher – or if the Eagles trade to put him higher.
16th Saints: Kenny Pickett, QB Pitt.
They wouldn’t have pursued Deshaun Watson if they were totally addicted to Jameis Winston.
17. Chargers: Andrew Booth, Jr., cornerback, Clemson.
They’re doing what they have to do to keep up with the big offenses in the AFC West.
18. Eagles: Jordan Davis, defensive tackle, Georgia.
Fletcher Cox nearing the end. You need someone just getting started.
Saint-19: Tyler Smith, offensive lineman, Tulsa.
The post payton offense needs more talent and not necessarily a receiver.
20. Steelers: Malik Willis, quarterback, Liberty.
You can trade to get it. They most likely don’t intend to have a lengthy gap between the franchise quarterbacks like they did prior to Ben Roethisberger’s call-up.
21. Patriots: George Karlaftis, Edge Rusher, Purdue.
Best Available Player, an assessment informed by their struggles designing and developing receivers.
22nd Packer: Treylon Burks, receiver, Arkansas.
They desperately need a new #1 recipient. Don’t be stunned when they trade in to get him or someone else.
23. Cardinals: Demarvin Leal, defensive tackle, Texas A&M.
The defense needs reinforcements. Leal could deliver.
24. Cowboys: Kenyon Green, guard, Texas A&M.
It’s time to get back to the offensive line.
25. Bills: Trent McDuffie, cornerback, Washington.
They need help in secondary school, especially when Tre’Davious White is returning from a cruciate ligament tear.
26. Titans: Jahan Dotson, receiver, Penn State.
Julio Jones didn’t work out. You need a solid #2.
27. Privateer: Devin Lloyd, linebacker, Utah.
Another Devin will succeed Lavonte David.
28. Packer: Bernard Raimann, tackle, Central Michigan.
With Aaron Rodgers staying close, they need people to keep him going.
29 Chiefs: Zion Johnson, Guard, Boston College.
You must design and develop competent blockers for Patrick Mahomes.
30. Chiefs: Daxton Hill, Safety, Michigan.
Combined with the signing of Justin Reid, taking Hill could significantly strengthen the last line of defense.
31. Bengal: Tyler Linderbaum, Center, Iowa.
Talented but undersized, the Bengals need to find guys who can protect Joe Burrow.
32nd Lions: Matt Corral, quarterback, Mississippi.
They could pass that pick to someone who wants a quarterback — and the final five-year deal of the 2022 draft — or they could go ahead and bring Corral here. He has the intangibles the Lions need as they try to turn the page of three decades of dysfunction.