If you made a silent film about the streets of Kiev, this great city might seem completely normal. Life seems to go on as if you were in Buenos Aires or Guadalajara. Only at some point would you notice that pedestrians with alarmed expressions stopped briefly to listen to something.
This behavior means that they heard a siren signaling the threat of Russian missiles and drones. Kiev residents would then leave the streets and quickly move to a safer location.
Mothers and children ran to bomb shelters or subway stations; In these places it is easier to wait for the attack on the capital of Ukraine. Sometimes they have to stay in an air raid shelter with their children for several hours. It will be these places, the sounds of explosions and the wail of sirens that today's children will remember when they think of their wartime childhood.
Ukrainian mothers understand this well and are more concerned about how their children perceive and experience the war. There is a lot of discussion about how war affects children's psyches and their perception of life. Mothers are increasingly wondering how their children's experiences affect their behavior as adults.
In addition, mothers of young children are looking for information on how to talk to children about war and death, how to calm a child's nerves during bombing raids, and how to distract him from feelings of fear.
Several children's books on these topics are very popular. No less popular are newspaper and magazine columns by child psychologists, and mothers like to share what they have learned from each other on social networks.
Although I hope that mothers in Cartagena or Lima never need these tips, I will give you some advice. If you and your child are in a bomb shelter and you hear explosions and the child is hugged to you, make sure he or she is breathing normally. You can take a bubble set to the animal shelter and try to get your child excited about blowing bubbles. When a child does this, they activate their lungs and breathe more deeply.
You can also have your child play “imitate the sound” games by exhaling air to make it sound like a balloon is descending or a motorcycle is starting. You can ask your child to sing songs. This reduces stress while restoring proper breathing.
You can play “Elephant” with very small children. The child closes his ears tightly with his palms and then suddenly and with a wide gesture opens them again, imitating the animal's ears. You can play “mosquitoes” when the child imagines many of them circling around his head and starts clapping his hands to scare away the imaginary insects.
If very loud explosions are heard, it is important to maintain physical contact with the child: massage the ears and stroke the cheeks. From time to time you need to ask the child to pretend that he is very tired, give a loud yawn and stretch.
After the alarm, be sure to praise the child for his courage. Tell her, “It’s over! We are safe! Thank you for being so brave and strong! We heard so many explosions but we made it through! We weren't afraid!” After these words, you need to ask the child to suggest what he would like to do in the next few hours. Making plans for the future is the best way to distract them from war. In fact, future plans also distract adults from war. Only the reality of war prevents adults from focusing on the future.
I also find it difficult to concentrate on the future. Of course, there are plans for this year, but there is no guarantee that they will be implemented. When I think about the future, I look at the sky. In today's Kiev the sky is bluegrey. Sometimes snow falls from the sky onto the streets and there is the usual city noise and the cries of crows.
In fact, the crow is the city's unofficial symbolic bird. They don't fly away in winter, as if they have taken on the responsibility of being the patrons of the city all year round. Their croaking cannot be described as music. Their cries are more like warnings of danger. In times of peace, crows seem to warn each other about something with their cries. Now they seem to be warning the residents of Kiev.
A few days ago, several crows on Lviv Square screamed so loudly and excitedly that other passersby and I stopped and looked for a long time up at the winterbare treetops, from where large black birds were making their way. hoarse speeches. Before the war, the cries of Kiev crows annoyed me, but now I enjoy listening to them. They give me a break.
They distract me for a short time from the reality in which I live, from the reality in which the whole of Ukraine lives today. I'm probably like a kid too, waiting for someone to tell me, “It's over!” We are safe! Thank you for being so brave and strong! We heard so many explosions but we made it through! We weren't worried!”
“Letter from Ukraine” is a project of the Latin American solidarity campaign “Aguanta Ucrania!”, with the support of the PEN Club Ukraine, an NGO that brings together writers, journalists and translators, among others.